inspiration

I have been home from SC for a little over a week, but have not felt inspired to write anything. So today I was reading my sister's story of how Christ's love has permeated her life and was so moved by it! This is such a beautiful story in the life of every child of God. I used to think that because I grew up in a Christian home and didn't do drugs, alcohol...all the "big sins" that I didn't have a good story. I was Simon in the story where the harlot comes into the house of a pharisee and comes straight to Jesus, weeps, anoints his feet and washes them with perfume and her hair. The woman knew and had experienced Jesus' love and was so confident that she (knowing who she is in Christ and not in the eyes of men) could walk right into this pharisee's home and unashamedly lavish her love on the Lover of her soul! This has become one of my favorite stories in the Bible. God took me, a self-righteous pharisee, and showed me that I am the adulterous woman who has committed ALL the big sins! His work on the cross has covered it all and I rest in who I am in Christ! When I think I am not all that bad I diminish His amazing act of love for me on the cross. I make a mockery out of it when I try to add my perfomance to His work for me. We think that once we are saved that now we need to live up to our salvation! It's like being given a HUGE amount of money and then going to get a job at McDonald's to try to pay it back! Paul says in Gal. 3 Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by the hearing of faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit are you now being made perfect by the flesh? .... Abraham believed God and it was accounted to him for righteousness.
I thought that after God had saved me , that the rest was up to me...wrong! That was bondage to me, always worrying if I was doing enough to work out my salvation....just like all the Pharisees! The very best that I can do is filthy rags. My works are ALL tainted with sin. If God's pleasure was based on my performance or if my sanctification was based on my keeping the law, I would never be pleasing to God and my record of works would not stand. My salvation from beginning to end is in the finished work of Christ! This may sound weird but when God showed me that I am the ho, I was so excited because that meant that He died for me, THE BIGGEST SINNER! His love became huge because my sin was huge! I have a story to tell!
Martin Luther writes about passive righteousness, this is part of what i read today.
"Passive righteousness is the great comfort of the conscience and peace for the soul. For example,
when we clearly see the law of God, we quickly see our sin. The evil in our lives comes to mind, it tears us apart, and we groan, "I cannot believe that I did that again. Lord, I promise I will not do it again." For when we are in trouble or our conscience bothers us, the devil likes to make us afraid by using the law, and he tries to lay on us the guilt of sin, our wicked past, the wrath and judgement of God, and eternal death to drive us to desperation, make us slaves to him and pluck us from Christ. Furthermore, he wants to set against us the parts of the gospel where Christ requires good deeds from us and with plain words threatens damnation to us if we do not do them.
This troubled conscience has no cure for desparation unless it takes hold of passive righteousness. So when I see a person who is bruised and oppressed by the law, terrified with sin, and thirsting for relief, it is time to take the law out of his sight and show him the gospel of passive righteousness which offers the promise of Christ, that he came for the suffering and sinners. Then this person is raised up and has renewed hope, now that she is no longer under law but under the gospel of grace. Therefore, when there is fear or our conscience is bothered, it is a sign that our passive righteousness is out of sight and Christ is hidden. But when we truly see Christ, we have full and perfect joy and peace in the Lord.
So do we do anything? Do we not do any work to obtain this righteousness? I answer nothing at all. It is like this: the earth does not produce rain, nor is it able by its own power or work to get it. The earth simply receives it as a gift of God from above. It is the same with "passive righteousness. It is given to us by God without our deserving it or working for it..."
The journey that God continues to take me on is one of ups and downs. Sometimes I stumble and fall and don't even want to get back up. Sometimes I want to run the other way, but He is a gentle, longsuffering, persevering, ever faithful, always pursuing, big-hearted Father. He picks me up, carries me, walks with me, holds me close to him (sometimes while i am screaming ). Even though I screw up everyday, his goodness and mercy will follow me ALL the days of my life! My feelings don't change what He thinks of me, I am His , always and forever because He made me His and nothing and no one can change that. He sings over me, delights in me, lavishes his love on me like the father running down the road to his prodigal son and kissing all over his son! What a story to tell. That is why I say this is the music of the gospel...it is BEAUTIFUL music.
I have to write this down and remind myself of this all the time.
I saw a quilt that my friend made today and it is a scrap quilt....just like God takes all the scraps of our lives and puts them all together to make something beautiful. Sometimes this doesn't look good as we are in the process and most of the time it doesn't feel good. He is working in me as I rest in Him. Rest.