what to write...hmm

It's been a long time since I wrote anything here....Kate's graduation. Well a new year is upon us and we are still wondering where we are supposed to "land". Sometimes God seems far away and I feel a little like I am shriveling up inside. Last night, He burst through my yuckiness in a big way. At least, it felt like a big way to me. Last week, I was feeling at an all time low. Not sure why...just get tired of waiting I guess. I also have been struggling with past hurt. It has definitely changed me, as does all suffering. I hope for the better in the long run. Back to my night...Saturday night. I just got off work. (oh yeah, I am now a Chick Fil A employee, woohoo!) I received a text from David that said,"you are going to get a phone call tonight from SC. Answer it and prepared to be blown away." So I waited about 45 min. (Mary Ellen was still working) in the food court at the mall. When my phone rang a vaguely familiar voice said, "Hi Emily, this is Karen. You taught my daughter Michelle." I immediately recognized her lovely voice and could picture her face with her sweet, kind smile as if I had seen it yesterday. (It has been 20 years since I taught at BLS). I told her where we were living and a little about us. Then she told me why she was calling. She said, "The reason I am calling is because I want you to know something before you get to heavean. Michelle has just given birth this month to twin girls. One is named Katherine and the other is named Emily after a certain middle school teacher whom God used to impact her life." I was floored. speechless. couldn't believe it. She went on to tell me how and gave an example of a specific time when I talked to Michelle. I can remember it like it was yesterday, but had no idea of the impact it had made on her. This call couldn't have come at a better time for me and God knew that. This may sound like no big deal to some of you teachers who have been teaching awhile and you have students coming back and thanking you. It happens, I know. For some reason, to me this was HUGE! It was like a billboard from God to me telling me how much he loves me. I belong to Him and He is not far away but close and acquainted with all my thoughts and struggles. I felt like I was in a pit and God picked me up, rescued me and set my feet back on the rock! If this call had come 2 months ago, it still would have been so wonderful to hear. But I felt like God's hand was all over this and he caused it to happen this week. God knows how I am made, he formed me and knows all my quirks. He is my Daddy and displays his love for me in big and small ways every day. I had begun to feel so crappy about everything...no other way to say it. God takes all the crappiness, cleans it off and makes us shine! :) It is amazing that in some way He helped me to shine the light of His gospel of grace into the life of someone else so many years ago and she still remembers! I am still blown away and it just brings tears. I stood there in the food court with tears streaming down my face just amazed that God used me for HIS purposes and is still going to use me and my family. It's not me. It's ALL for Jesus, by his power and for HIS glory. I can't wait to see Michelle and her family the next time we travel south...hopefully soon!