what to write...hmm

It's been a long time since I wrote anything here....Kate's graduation. Well a new year is upon us and we are still wondering where we are supposed to "land". Sometimes God seems far away and I feel a little like I am shriveling up inside. Last night, He burst through my yuckiness in a big way. At least, it felt like a big way to me. Last week, I was feeling at an all time low. Not sure why...just get tired of waiting I guess. I also have been struggling with past hurt. It has definitely changed me, as does all suffering. I hope for the better in the long run. Back to my night...Saturday night. I just got off work. (oh yeah, I am now a Chick Fil A employee, woohoo!) I received a text from David that said,"you are going to get a phone call tonight from SC. Answer it and prepared to be blown away." So I waited about 45 min. (Mary Ellen was still working) in the food court at the mall. When my phone rang a vaguely familiar voice said, "Hi Emily, this is Karen. You taught my daughter Michelle." I immediately recognized her lovely voice and could picture her face with her sweet, kind smile as if I had seen it yesterday. (It has been 20 years since I taught at BLS). I told her where we were living and a little about us. Then she told me why she was calling. She said, "The reason I am calling is because I want you to know something before you get to heavean. Michelle has just given birth this month to twin girls. One is named Katherine and the other is named Emily after a certain middle school teacher whom God used to impact her life." I was floored. speechless. couldn't believe it. She went on to tell me how and gave an example of a specific time when I talked to Michelle. I can remember it like it was yesterday, but had no idea of the impact it had made on her. This call couldn't have come at a better time for me and God knew that. This may sound like no big deal to some of you teachers who have been teaching awhile and you have students coming back and thanking you. It happens, I know. For some reason, to me this was HUGE! It was like a billboard from God to me telling me how much he loves me. I belong to Him and He is not far away but close and acquainted with all my thoughts and struggles. I felt like I was in a pit and God picked me up, rescued me and set my feet back on the rock! If this call had come 2 months ago, it still would have been so wonderful to hear. But I felt like God's hand was all over this and he caused it to happen this week. God knows how I am made, he formed me and knows all my quirks. He is my Daddy and displays his love for me in big and small ways every day. I had begun to feel so crappy about everything...no other way to say it. God takes all the crappiness, cleans it off and makes us shine! :) It is amazing that in some way He helped me to shine the light of His gospel of grace into the life of someone else so many years ago and she still remembers! I am still blown away and it just brings tears. I stood there in the food court with tears streaming down my face just amazed that God used me for HIS purposes and is still going to use me and my family. It's not me. It's ALL for Jesus, by his power and for HIS glory. I can't wait to see Michelle and her family the next time we travel south...hopefully soon!

Some pictures

Kate's big day....happiness! She is in the middle, in case you couldn't tell.

beautiful

When I think of this past weekend "beautiful" is the word that comes to my mind. I have been so blessed by friends and family that God has woven into my life. They make my life beautiful and rich. So many of them were so kind to come our festivities over the weekend and celebrate Kate's graduation from high school. She was beautiful in her gown and her dress (that we found in 15 minutes). When the graduates stood up and turned around to face the audience, she was beaming as she turned her tassle....beautiful! She was beautiful as they came marching in. They were so eager to graduate, it seemed like they came running in! I was savoring each moment and was so proud and happy for her and her friends. God has given her some beautiful friendships. They have walked through some really hard things this year but have come out with a better understanding of the gospel of grace. I have seen and heard them encourage one another to do the right thing, cheering each other on...that is a beautiful thing to see.
My dear friend, Joanne, hosted the party at her home and did an amazing job. It was BEAUTIFUL!! She seemed so calm the whole evening while over 200 people came through her home. God blessed us with a beautiful summer evening. Joanne, is a constant reminder to me of the love and grace of God. She is constantly pointing back to Jesus and is amazing grace. She is a beautiful person and I am so thankful for her friendship.
Our family traveled up from SC and we had such a good time with them. We feel so blessed to be in a family that loves one another and loves Jesus most of all! The body of Christ is beautiful! We have so much fun together laughing, eating, running around...thanks so much for coming! You made this weekend so special!
Now I am going to sit and savor the memories...thank you Jesus for making all things beautiful!

it's here

The time has come....my oldest daughter is graduating. I remember when I was a young mom and this same child would not let me out of her sight, even to walk to the mail box. It was driving me crazy! I was talking to some older ladies in our church at the time and they said, "This time goes by so fast." I responded, "Everybody says that and I don't believe it." :) Of course, those wise women were right. I look back at that time and it seems like it was such a short time. What a wonderful, beautiful young woman she has grown to be! I love listening to her sing and speak...she does both so well! Last week she presented her Senior Thesis on prostitution and how the gospel is the only true way out. It was absolutely amazing! She is a very good public speaker and draws you in as she speaks. It was a 23 minute speech and then judges asked her questions afterwards. I wish I would have recorded it. As her mom, I know that their are some things that only the Holy Spirit can teach her. I can teach her how to do laundry, cook, ride a bike, keep a budget, etc. But only the gospel of his amazing grace can set her heart free to worship and enjoy Him forever.
Kate, I pray that the Father binds your heart to His and that you always have a song in your heart because of what He has done for you. DANCE FOR JESUS!! :)

sweet!

After I finished praying with Jacob tonight, he said, "I want to help pay for Kate's trip to Scotland. Maybe I can sell ice cream sundaes OR hot chocolate! Yeah, I'll sell hot chocolate! I'll give the money to Katelyn." I had to savor that moment while I laid there next to him and we discussed how he could do that. What a sweet moment of unselfishness...only by God's grace!
So with snow in the forecast (AGAIN!!), I think hot chocolate will sell better than ice cream sundaes!
I also would like to do a coffee house to help raise money. We have one month to raise $1,000! If any of you want to contribute, just let me know! :)

my heart is full of praise!

I just have to write this down so I don't forget! Zechariah 3 is a vision of Joshua the High Priest in the presence of God. ( Tim Keller shared this thought in his sermon that I listened to yesterday.) The high priest went into the presence of God one day with a basin of blood one day of the year Yom Kippur or the Day of Atonement. He spent all week preparing, cleansing himself over and over, bathing, and putting on beautiful robes. In this passage Zechariah realizes that all that cleansing, bathing and beautiful robes are all for naught. They don't do the high priest any good. v. 3 says that his garments were filthy. v. 4 "The angel said to those who were standing before him, 'Remove the filthy garments from him". And to him he said "Behold I have taken your iniquity far away from you, and I will clothe you with pure vestments"....So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him with garments.
This makes my heart sing! He has torn the curtain and clothed me in his robes of righteousness so that I can gaze upon his beauty and know him as my Father!
Happy Day!

thoughts runnin' through my head

What is the work that we are supposed to be doing as Christians when the Bible says "work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you..." ? It is to believe...faith. Faith is the power switch, the Holy Spirit is the cord, and we shine the light into a dark and broken world. None of this is from me, it's all "God working in me". I was talking to Jacob a few weeks ago about how he is doing in school. We usually have these talks while lying in the bed at night. The dark and quiet seem to bring out honesty and vulnerability from a child's heart because that is where I have had some of the best talks with my kids. Jacob was telling me he is a "bad kid" at school. I asked him why he thought he was a "bad kid". He said because he gets lots of tallies. I named another student in his class who never gets tallies and asked him if he thought this student was a "bad kid". He said, "NO!" I responded, "God tells us that we are all 'bad kids' even this other student and that we all need Jesus. No one is better than anyone else. We all need Jesus. Some people learn how to act in certain places so they don't get into trouble but this doesn't mean that their heart has been changed by God. God wants us to come to Him every day in repentance and trust Him." I was thinking to myself, "What does it mean to be a good boy?" God has shown me that there is nothing good in me. I have no light of my own...I'm just like the moon reflecting the light of the sun. I told Jacob, "to be a good boy is simply to trust, to believe". I pray for Jacob to see that he can't just TRY HARDER. I don't want him to think that if he doesn't get any tallies that he is okay. In fact, if getting a lot of tallies shows him how much he needs a Savior then bring it on! I don't want behavior modification. I pray for God to change his heart, to bind it His own, to change him so that He knows how wide, long and deep the Father's love is for him.
I listened to a Tim Keller sermon yesterday b/c I couldn't go to church. It was on
Ps. 27. David had learned how to face life (viewing all of life as a battle and not just a series of battlefields)...by gazing on the face of God, simply look to Jesus...being in His presence. He could face anything and not be afraid because he was looking to Jesus. God does the work, ALL the work. Jacob and I just need to remember to keep our gaze in the right place.