9/11

10 years ago today. We all remember where we were and what we were doing and how we felt when saw our country come under attack. It was scary. I was sitting in my living room doing math with my two older children...homeschooling. My next door neighbor came over and told me to pray,pray pray! I turned on the TV and watched the horror with the rest of the country. Today while I was on facebook, by the providence of God, I noticed my status one year ago today and thought it is so appropriate and such a good reminder.

Life is not just a straight line leading from one blessing to the next and then ...finally to heaven. Life is winding and troubled road. Switchback after switchback...and God is not showing up after the trouble and cleaning it up. He is plotting the course and managing the troubles with far-reaching purposes for our good and for the glory of Jesus Christ. --John Piper

Bible study anyone?

I just want to do ministry with my husband again. I don't know what it will look like. My prayer is that God will bring the joy of ministry back into my husbands life sometime soon. I long for him to do what God has wired him to do and to work alongside with him. We just keep praying and waiting, praying and waiting...
Soooo maybe we just start where we have been for the past 4 1/2 years. Maybe we are supposed to stay here. Tonight I was wishing we had a Bible study, small group or something to go to... I miss doing something like that on Sunday nights. I think maybe we should just start a Bible study group right here and now. We minister everywhere we go...Chick fil A...who knows what God is doing. We are just broken vessels that want to be used by Him for His purposes.

PLEASE PASS THE BUTTER!!!

My sister, Melinda, tells the story of when I was a little girl sitting at the dinner table. I quietly said, "Please pass the butter, please pass the butter, please pass the butter." After not being heard, of course, I yelled, "PLEASE PASS THE BUTTER. I SAID IT THREE TIMES!" When you are the sixth of seven children sometimes you have to yell to be heard. Which is probably why I am a loud, outgoing person...kinda had to be that way. Sometimes, lately, I feel like yelling again (or screaming)...just want to be heard and understood.

life is good to a 10 year old

David and Jacob went to the store to get root beer for root beer floats. After they found the root beer, they spotted a good deal on frozen pizza. As they made their purchase, Jacob said to David, "We are livin' the good life!" :) I love that he is so easy to please. I guess that's why Jesus told us to have the faith of a child! We ARE livin' the good life! When we have Jesus we have everything we need!

community

Yesterday we were visiting friends and talking about how important it is to be in community. The purpose of community is to point us to Jesus--to help us keep looking to Him as the author and finisher of our faith. I have been in communities that did that and some that didn't. One community in particular started out that way and then began to idolize itself. When a community begins to love themselves and value their community more than the One who gave them to each other, it begins to destroy itself. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote about this and can articulate much better than I). No one in that community is allowed to question them or say anything that might put them in a bad light. They are no longer resting in their Saviour but in their own "rightness". All their efforts are put into protecting their community and they will chastise anyone who dares to question them. It is heartbreaking to watch this happen. We must be careful as the body of Christ to love each other...to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. I might add, we must also to be quick to forgive. Don't let anyone hold anyone hold anything against you what Jesus has already forgiven.

what to write...hmm

It's been a long time since I wrote anything here....Kate's graduation. Well a new year is upon us and we are still wondering where we are supposed to "land". Sometimes God seems far away and I feel a little like I am shriveling up inside. Last night, He burst through my yuckiness in a big way. At least, it felt like a big way to me. Last week, I was feeling at an all time low. Not sure why...just get tired of waiting I guess. I also have been struggling with past hurt. It has definitely changed me, as does all suffering. I hope for the better in the long run. Back to my night...Saturday night. I just got off work. (oh yeah, I am now a Chick Fil A employee, woohoo!) I received a text from David that said,"you are going to get a phone call tonight from SC. Answer it and prepared to be blown away." So I waited about 45 min. (Mary Ellen was still working) in the food court at the mall. When my phone rang a vaguely familiar voice said, "Hi Emily, this is Karen. You taught my daughter Michelle." I immediately recognized her lovely voice and could picture her face with her sweet, kind smile as if I had seen it yesterday. (It has been 20 years since I taught at BLS). I told her where we were living and a little about us. Then she told me why she was calling. She said, "The reason I am calling is because I want you to know something before you get to heavean. Michelle has just given birth this month to twin girls. One is named Katherine and the other is named Emily after a certain middle school teacher whom God used to impact her life." I was floored. speechless. couldn't believe it. She went on to tell me how and gave an example of a specific time when I talked to Michelle. I can remember it like it was yesterday, but had no idea of the impact it had made on her. This call couldn't have come at a better time for me and God knew that. This may sound like no big deal to some of you teachers who have been teaching awhile and you have students coming back and thanking you. It happens, I know. For some reason, to me this was HUGE! It was like a billboard from God to me telling me how much he loves me. I belong to Him and He is not far away but close and acquainted with all my thoughts and struggles. I felt like I was in a pit and God picked me up, rescued me and set my feet back on the rock! If this call had come 2 months ago, it still would have been so wonderful to hear. But I felt like God's hand was all over this and he caused it to happen this week. God knows how I am made, he formed me and knows all my quirks. He is my Daddy and displays his love for me in big and small ways every day. I had begun to feel so crappy about everything...no other way to say it. God takes all the crappiness, cleans it off and makes us shine! :) It is amazing that in some way He helped me to shine the light of His gospel of grace into the life of someone else so many years ago and she still remembers! I am still blown away and it just brings tears. I stood there in the food court with tears streaming down my face just amazed that God used me for HIS purposes and is still going to use me and my family. It's not me. It's ALL for Jesus, by his power and for HIS glory. I can't wait to see Michelle and her family the next time we travel south...hopefully soon!

Some pictures

Kate's big day....happiness! She is in the middle, in case you couldn't tell.

beautiful

When I think of this past weekend "beautiful" is the word that comes to my mind. I have been so blessed by friends and family that God has woven into my life. They make my life beautiful and rich. So many of them were so kind to come our festivities over the weekend and celebrate Kate's graduation from high school. She was beautiful in her gown and her dress (that we found in 15 minutes). When the graduates stood up and turned around to face the audience, she was beaming as she turned her tassle....beautiful! She was beautiful as they came marching in. They were so eager to graduate, it seemed like they came running in! I was savoring each moment and was so proud and happy for her and her friends. God has given her some beautiful friendships. They have walked through some really hard things this year but have come out with a better understanding of the gospel of grace. I have seen and heard them encourage one another to do the right thing, cheering each other on...that is a beautiful thing to see.
My dear friend, Joanne, hosted the party at her home and did an amazing job. It was BEAUTIFUL!! She seemed so calm the whole evening while over 200 people came through her home. God blessed us with a beautiful summer evening. Joanne, is a constant reminder to me of the love and grace of God. She is constantly pointing back to Jesus and is amazing grace. She is a beautiful person and I am so thankful for her friendship.
Our family traveled up from SC and we had such a good time with them. We feel so blessed to be in a family that loves one another and loves Jesus most of all! The body of Christ is beautiful! We have so much fun together laughing, eating, running around...thanks so much for coming! You made this weekend so special!
Now I am going to sit and savor the memories...thank you Jesus for making all things beautiful!

it's here

The time has come....my oldest daughter is graduating. I remember when I was a young mom and this same child would not let me out of her sight, even to walk to the mail box. It was driving me crazy! I was talking to some older ladies in our church at the time and they said, "This time goes by so fast." I responded, "Everybody says that and I don't believe it." :) Of course, those wise women were right. I look back at that time and it seems like it was such a short time. What a wonderful, beautiful young woman she has grown to be! I love listening to her sing and speak...she does both so well! Last week she presented her Senior Thesis on prostitution and how the gospel is the only true way out. It was absolutely amazing! She is a very good public speaker and draws you in as she speaks. It was a 23 minute speech and then judges asked her questions afterwards. I wish I would have recorded it. As her mom, I know that their are some things that only the Holy Spirit can teach her. I can teach her how to do laundry, cook, ride a bike, keep a budget, etc. But only the gospel of his amazing grace can set her heart free to worship and enjoy Him forever.
Kate, I pray that the Father binds your heart to His and that you always have a song in your heart because of what He has done for you. DANCE FOR JESUS!! :)

sweet!

After I finished praying with Jacob tonight, he said, "I want to help pay for Kate's trip to Scotland. Maybe I can sell ice cream sundaes OR hot chocolate! Yeah, I'll sell hot chocolate! I'll give the money to Katelyn." I had to savor that moment while I laid there next to him and we discussed how he could do that. What a sweet moment of unselfishness...only by God's grace!
So with snow in the forecast (AGAIN!!), I think hot chocolate will sell better than ice cream sundaes!
I also would like to do a coffee house to help raise money. We have one month to raise $1,000! If any of you want to contribute, just let me know! :)

my heart is full of praise!

I just have to write this down so I don't forget! Zechariah 3 is a vision of Joshua the High Priest in the presence of God. ( Tim Keller shared this thought in his sermon that I listened to yesterday.) The high priest went into the presence of God one day with a basin of blood one day of the year Yom Kippur or the Day of Atonement. He spent all week preparing, cleansing himself over and over, bathing, and putting on beautiful robes. In this passage Zechariah realizes that all that cleansing, bathing and beautiful robes are all for naught. They don't do the high priest any good. v. 3 says that his garments were filthy. v. 4 "The angel said to those who were standing before him, 'Remove the filthy garments from him". And to him he said "Behold I have taken your iniquity far away from you, and I will clothe you with pure vestments"....So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him with garments.
This makes my heart sing! He has torn the curtain and clothed me in his robes of righteousness so that I can gaze upon his beauty and know him as my Father!
Happy Day!

thoughts runnin' through my head

What is the work that we are supposed to be doing as Christians when the Bible says "work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you..." ? It is to believe...faith. Faith is the power switch, the Holy Spirit is the cord, and we shine the light into a dark and broken world. None of this is from me, it's all "God working in me". I was talking to Jacob a few weeks ago about how he is doing in school. We usually have these talks while lying in the bed at night. The dark and quiet seem to bring out honesty and vulnerability from a child's heart because that is where I have had some of the best talks with my kids. Jacob was telling me he is a "bad kid" at school. I asked him why he thought he was a "bad kid". He said because he gets lots of tallies. I named another student in his class who never gets tallies and asked him if he thought this student was a "bad kid". He said, "NO!" I responded, "God tells us that we are all 'bad kids' even this other student and that we all need Jesus. No one is better than anyone else. We all need Jesus. Some people learn how to act in certain places so they don't get into trouble but this doesn't mean that their heart has been changed by God. God wants us to come to Him every day in repentance and trust Him." I was thinking to myself, "What does it mean to be a good boy?" God has shown me that there is nothing good in me. I have no light of my own...I'm just like the moon reflecting the light of the sun. I told Jacob, "to be a good boy is simply to trust, to believe". I pray for Jacob to see that he can't just TRY HARDER. I don't want him to think that if he doesn't get any tallies that he is okay. In fact, if getting a lot of tallies shows him how much he needs a Savior then bring it on! I don't want behavior modification. I pray for God to change his heart, to bind it His own, to change him so that He knows how wide, long and deep the Father's love is for him.
I listened to a Tim Keller sermon yesterday b/c I couldn't go to church. It was on
Ps. 27. David had learned how to face life (viewing all of life as a battle and not just a series of battlefields)...by gazing on the face of God, simply look to Jesus...being in His presence. He could face anything and not be afraid because he was looking to Jesus. God does the work, ALL the work. Jacob and I just need to remember to keep our gaze in the right place.

changes everywhere

Our school is probably going to be moving into a new building. A Christian school in our area is closing. It is connected to a church and has been in existence for 45 years. The church is voting tonight on whether or not to lease the building to our school. I remember when my school closed when I was finishing my eighth grade year. It was a hard time for many families. I remembered feeling very anxious and how my mom seemed so calm about it! We all scattered and went to different schools in the area. Our church opened a school in its basement, which is where we went. So I have thought about these families from New Castle a lot this week who are seeing the end of an era to their school and my heart goes out to them. I hope that we can welcome many of them into our school family and that it will be a safe place for them where they are embraced and loved by the body of Christ. I pray that this will help advance the kingdom for the glory of God.

I don't want to forget....

I am going to write this down so I don't forget. David, Kate and I have been reading John Piper's book A Sweet and Bitter Providence on the book of Ruth. Kate flew through it and LOVED it...she said it was one of the best books she has ever read. She read this to me and we were both in tears. What God does in our lives is so sweet and merciful...even in the difficulties. Read on and absorb...get the book.
"Sweetie Pie" p. 122
This pledge God has made to his people is ungreakable. No famine or death can break it. I saw it in a parable. I was visiting some of our elderly people in a nursing home. I got on the elevator with a woman in a wheelchair who was old, misshapen, and confused. Her head wobbled meaninglessly and she uttered senseless sounds. Her mouth hung open. Then I noticed that a well dressed man, perhaps in his mid-sixties, was pushing her chair. I wondered who he was. Then as we all got off the elevator, I heard him say, "Watch your feet, Sweetie-pie."
Sweetie Pie. As I walked to the car, I thought...if a marriage covenant between a man and a woman produces that kind of fidelity and commitment and affection under those circumstances, then surely under the great and merciful terms of the New Covenant, sealed with the blood of his Son (Luke 22:20), God has no difficulty calling you and me (sinful and sick as we are) sweet names. And if he does, there is no truth more unshakable in all the world than this: For them and for us the best is yet to come. God is at work in the darkest times--for our good and Christ's glory. He will see to it that the glory of his Son fills the earth and that in him we find everlasting joy.

didn't know that would happen

Yesterday when we got home, there was a letter in the mail from Cedarville University. We visited the campus a few weeks ago to see if that is somewhere Kate would want to attend. She loved it. We met some really great people while we were there. She had applied before we visited, but wanted to visit to get a feel for the campus atmosphere. So we have been waiting to hear from them. She had to work last night and didn't get home until 10:45. We held the envelope up to the light and all the usual attempts to see what it said without opening it. Mary Ellen called her to tell her the letter was waiting for her and poor Kate could hardly concentrate all evening at work. I went to bed but woke up when I heard her run into the house, plop all her stuff down, tear into the envelope, and started sobbing...yes we are a little emotional in our home. I thought, "oh no!" Kate came up and showed me the letter. It was a "Congratulations! You have been accepted for the fall semester of 2010." I just couldn't believe that my little girl's name was on that letter with those words. Wasn't that just yesterday that I got that letter?? Now my daughter is spreading her wings and getting ready to fly! I just looked at it and read it over and over. Tears came...I had such a mixture of emotions. I am so proud of her and all her accomplishments. I am so happy for her to have more opportunities to learn and grow. If she chooses to go to CU, I will be happy. (she has applied to three other schools). I will miss her so much when that time comes. I couldn't sleep last night thinking about all the things going on in my life and the changes we face as a family. I was wondering what it will be like for us next year without her around and what it will be like to go visit....all kinds of thoughts. I finally fell asleep around midnight...happy, thankful, knowing and trusting my Heavenly Father.

first snow

Saturday was our first snow of the season. I was at a Christmas tea. It was perfect...all Christmasy inside and big fluffy flakes coming down outside. I am hoping for a few good storms this year.
I had an "ah ha" moment today....kinda. I was teaching my first graders the lesson about the spies going into the land of Canaan and coming back scared and getting all the people scared. They had forgotten the promises of God and how He had taken care of them and promised to take them into the land and give it to them. To them, taking over the land of Canaan looked impossible! Joshua and Caleb didn't forget and knew that God could help them conquer the land. They probably had no idea how it would happen, but they were confident in God's promises to them. Halfway through the lesson, I felt like I was preaching to myself! The lesson was for me! The Holy Spirit was convicting me as I was speaking. Sometimes when God calls us to something and takes us through difficuties it is scary. I become fearful and try to control the situation so that it will work out to my liking. I remember when God was calling us away from my beloved Willowdale. I was scared. I loved my church, my friends....my life in PA. What if God took all of that away!!!?? What would I do? He did (except for the friends) because he wants me to trust Him and love Him more than ANYTHING!
I was so afraid that we would have to move far away and how hard that would be on the kids. God has a way of bringing us to the point of surrender, rest and trust. You know the verse, "In repentence and rest is our salvation..." it's my theme. :) So now after wandering in the wilderness and going through more trials and struggles, I see my sin...my pride, stubborness and now I don't care where we end up. I just want to be wherever God wants us. That's what happened to the Israelites too. They had to wander around and realize that God's promises are ALWAYS true....repent,rest, repent, rest, repent....God is faithful and always forgives and loves.

my very own Amelia Bedelia

This week at lunch Mrs Baumann was telling the 1-6 graders about our next fundraiser. She told them that we are going to be selling magazines. Later that evening I found Jacob collecting up all my magazines I had laying around the house. He said, "Mom, we need to sell all these magazines to get money for our school!" I tried to explain that Mrs. Baumann meant you buy a subscription to have magazines sent to your house or you get your friends to buy subscriptions. He said very seriously, "Mom I went up to Mrs. Baumann and said,'So you want us to sell magazines to other people and she said Yes." I was laughing so hard by this time that he started laughing and said "your laugh is making me laugh!" What a funny kid...you never know what there little minds are thinking when you are telling them something. They think so literally.

A Saturday at home

I am loving being home today. It has been cold and rainy since Wednesday. I haven't had a whole day home in about two weeks. So today was cleaning day. I love the feeling of a clean house, coffee is brewing, cookies are in the oven...life is good. :) This week flew by for me...not sure why. I am getting ready to take Katelyn and her friend to go visit Cedarville University next week. We will be driving out Thursday afternoon, leaving school around noon. They have a science fair at school that day so we have to wait until after that to leave. Hopefully, we won't have any car trouble. Pray for us if you think of it. We went to a college fair a couple of weeks ago in Philadelphia and talked to their representative. His sister goes to The Kings Chapel in West Chester, Ohio...the same church I went to during my summers in college. We had a great conversation about all kinds of stuff. I feel like I have said all this before...hmmm. Anyway, we are going to visit his church as well to see if that would be a good church for Kate if she ends up going there. He said there are two good reformed churches in the area.
Yesterday, I drove to Philadelphia with Mary Ellen's class to go the Philadelphia Museum of Art. We had a tour guide who was very smart and brought out so many points about different art that I wouldn't have known....very interesting tour. I was so proud of our students and how they engaged with her, answering her questions, asking questions and making good conversation. She asked me if I was a mom and I told her I was but I also teach at the school. She said, "They are really smart!" :) I confess, I had a little proud moment...even though I don't teach any of those kids. They were great and so polite and kind. I want to go back because there was so much we didn't get to see. I think it is free on Sundays in Jan. or Feb...I bet Jeannette knows.
A funny thing happened in first grade about a week ago. I was beginning my Bible class and one child says, "Mrs. Stover, what's wrong with your hair?" You gotta love first grade....brutal honesty. You would never get that in the older grades. Of course, then they all had to comment, "Yeah, it's kinda big." another says, "like an afro"....no one has ever said that to me. The other teacher in the room just cracked up....definitely a first grade moment!
If you pay any attention to sports you know that the Phillies were in the World Series again this year. One of my first graders is one of the most devoted Phillies fans I know. We were working on a project, making a book about the life of Joseph. I was helping him with some of the cutting and glueing. As I looked closely at his Joseph and Jacob characters, I noticed something unusual about them. I asked him, "Grant, are Jacob and Joseph Phillies fans?" He replied proudly, "Yep, and one of Joseph's brothers has a Phillies tattoo!" Teaching is never dull! :)

opening day and other things

I really need to post some pictures on here. The new Chick Fil A store opened this past Thurs. It's in the mall (about 2 minutes from our school). David is one of the managers there and one of our students is working there too. We are getting to know all the Chick Fil A people around here and enjoy them so much. I told David I feel like having them all over for dinner and get to know them better. Kate and David work with some really wonderful people. I'm sure they are kinda sick of seeing us hanging around all the time.
Saturday Mary Ellen, Jonathan, Jacob and I went up to Newtown Square, PA to see our friend Nathan Taylor in his middle school play. He was Smee in Peter Pan and did such a great job! He is such a great kid...love him! He and Jonathan have been friends for awhile. We stayed with him for two weeks while his parents went away on their 25th anniv. trip. He got to find out what it is like to have a little brother and big sisters to pester! :)
Sunday we were back up to PA for church. We made a whole day of it. Left the house at 7AM and got back at 7pm. We had a baptism service in the morning and an ordination service in the afternoon. Our friend, Peter Doerfler was ordained into the PCA. Both services were absolutely wonderful. God once again reminded my weary soul that it is ALL him. His gentle proddings of grace and love warmed my heart as we sang and heard the stories of God drawing His children to himself. One young man said, "It was like I was wandering around not knowing what direction to go and God just reached down and took my hand and said, 'This is way to go. Come with me." I thought that was so beautiful because isn't that how it is with all of us? God reaches down and rescues us from ourselves, takes us by the hand, shows us the path of life, and walks with us.

November!!

It's November already!! I am at home this morning for the second time this week. I just pulled some pumpkin scones out of the oven to have with my coffee and share with my friends at school. I put this yummy spiced glaze on them. They are so good. David took the kids to school or should I say the kids took David to work and then Kate drove over to the school. They have to leave a bit earlier than usual (is that spelled right??....looks weird).
It's almost time for Christmas music!!
It is a beautiful fall day and I am so thankful for the opportunity God has given to me today to enjoy Him and His beautiful creation.